Seriously, What The FUCK: Week Ten Part Two
Ugh…fuck. Seriously, where the FUCK does my week go? Ok.
NYJ 7 @ SEA 28: Look on the bright side, Tebow! You’re in Washington state and it’s finally legal for you to get married!
The first half was kind of unfortunate as Russell Wilson has been playing well recently and in this game he just couldn’t identify the pressure that was coming off the line – one sack for a strip fumble and another sack for another fumble (recovered by Seattle). However, the defense was playing fucking great; Tebow hasn’t been hit this fucking hard since he was poked with a wire coat hanger. The seven points that the Jets scored off the defensive touchdown were the only points the fucking Jets got all day. Tebow stared down receivers so long you would think they were altar boys and Sanchez…well, played pretty much the same as he did every week. Antonio Cromartie lost track of receivers like they were one of his kids.
Here’s Rex Ryan’s reaction:
And here is the back of the jersey: DAL 28 @ PHI 23: Before the game apparently someone, presumably an Eagles fan, set fire to a Cowboys fan’s car in the parking lot. There are a lot of rumors flying around; upset parking attendants, roving packs of Eagles fans who recently learned how to use fire, a mishap with Andy Reid’s attempt to deep fat fry an entire turkey to eat on the sidelines – they go on. All I know is that someone should question this man: At any rate, the Eagles coaching staff should get acquainted with the word “fire”. The Eagles lost yet another must-win game, mostly due to Michael Vick coming down with a severe concussion on a play that required him to read. Here is a bilingual appeal to throw Reid to the ham-starved wolves: I just keep seeing this as another Dos Equis ad. “I don’t always harpoon overweight NFL head coaching failures, but when I do, I drink Dos Equis.” "No way does Wolfman Rob settle for any-fucking-thing less than the fucking KING of steaks. Not like that fucking Earl of Steaks in Ohio. I've eaten beef brisket out of a hooker's snatch that tasted fucking better. True fucking story." STL 24 @ SF 24: Tie game! Tie games are fucking hilarious because after all this fucking time no one in the NFL seems to be remotely fucking familiar with the tie rules. Every time overtime ends in a tie (which is really fucking rare) all of the players mill around on the field and wonder what the fuck happened. First, a Danny Amendola 80-yard pass play was negated by a fucking stupid illegal formation penalty that really shouldn’t fucking happen, not that I have a fucking opinion on the fucking matter. A Greg Zuerelin 53-yard field goal was called back for a delay of game penalty, which marks the first fucking time that a kicker was iced due to a LACK of a timeout. And now: Apparently Donovan McNabb was in the production truck. Again, the chronic confusion is priceless: HOU 13 @ CHI 6:I’ve said a lot about this already. But cheer up, Chicago! Josh McCown is here! FOOLPROOF! Break McCown in case of emergency! KC @ PIT : Fuck. Man, what a shitty game – if it wasn’t for the media meltdowns that occurred it wouldn’t even be worth mentioning. For example, the new Roethlisberger offense: That style of offensive generally operates out of the two-minutes-in-the-women’s-bathroom drill. The Steelers made a game out of this by playing down to their opponent in their quest to fuck over my fantasy team as the Chiefs made a game out of this one. The vaunted Stillers defense is a fucking shadow of what it used to be and this was almost an upset as Roethlisberger got an owie and had to leave the game. This was televised at the half: In the picture, Roethlisberger is going to the hospital. He is not actually being arrested. I know, I thought I would just help clarify that a little bit.
